February 10: Analysis of Birthday Candles

41 days and we're still trying to figure this thing out. What makes a need and need and a want a want? When teaching elementary students, we identify needs as food, clothing, and a place to live. (Even as I type the words I can picture my students striking a fashion pose as they come to the "clothes" part of our chant.) We knew at the start of this that we would have to hone that definition. Food? Yes. I think that's a given. Groceries were immediately placed on the needs list. We also made sure that monthly bills such as mortgage, electricity, water, phones, etc. were needs - goes to shelter. Clothes. Well, we have clothes. I've never sent anyone from my family out into the world naked. I think we have enough to keep us modestly covered. Of course, kids grow...

We decided early on that gifts would be acceptable purchases... not really needs, but important since our intent is not to force our choice on others. Nobody outside our family is even aware that we have committed to this drastic change in our lives. Making obvious, outwardly changes might draw attention to US... not what we want to do. We also want this to be a positive adventure for our girls. Informing them that there will be no birthday this year isn't exactly the celebration kids hope for. Birthdays will still come and be celebrated. My shopping, however, is much more needs-based. Clothes that fit will be the primary goal.

I've begun working from the following thought process when determining want vs. need. My first question is always, "Do we need this?" If the answer is yes, I ask, "Is there anything we already have that would substitute adequately for this?" If the answer to that is also yes, I skip the purchase. If the answer to that question is no, the item goes into my cart. Pretty simple. I thought I had gotten pretty good at this, until I discovered the birthday candles in my shopping bag. I can reason that I needed to make sure an important family tradition continue. However, I'm left wondering if I had something at the house that would have adequately substituted for the neon candles I purchased. I believe I have some Hanukkah candles in a drawer I bought on clearance one year. (They were so cute!) Those would have worked just fine. I just didn't go through the thought process.

This discovery made me wonder how often I'm forgetting that thought process when analyzing other items. What else have I picked up when shopping for needs that was truly a want? Have there been many other frivolous purchases? I can't think of any, but surely I've blown it on other occasions. More importantly, what can I do to make sure this doesn't become a habit? We have a birthday party coming up. I won't hesitate to purchase items to make the party a success for my baby girl. However, I need to polish my lenses... really focus closely on ways to make the most of minimal. How? Well, first of all I need to make a list. (No problem since I LOVE lists!) Next, I need to stick to the list (a little more difficult for the global person like myself). Finally, I need to stay off the phone while I'm shopping. My divided attention always leaves me at risk of falling prey to mistakes. (Ooh. There's a spiritual lesson in there! I'll put a pin in it for another day.) Maybe these simple changes will keep my focus directed and my lenses clear.

I'm not losing sleep over the birthday candles, but I do want to avoid a repeat, especially since it would conceivably be with a much larger item. I'm praying (quite literally, mind you) that God will help direct my focus even in the aisles of the grocery store to thoughtfully and carefully evaluate needs... not because buying birthday candles is bad, but because surrendering ALL is better.