March 30: Revising My To Do List

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to live a life radically abandoned to Christ. I get glimpses of that kind of life from time to time, but shamefully acknowledge I'm no where close to living it! My life is essentially... safe. We are a typical American family, living in a nice suburban area. Our kids get good grades at good schools. We work hard, earn enough money to pay our bills, attend a dynamic church, and try to serve faithfully. More and more lately I've been thinking about all of the things we DO and wondering what we're missing. Is my life currently a checklist? I mean, if so, I'm doing a pretty good job checking off really good things on my list. But, yuck. Where's the passion and excitement in that? Again, what are we missing?

Enter my girls. They've just walked in from Wednesday night church and my oldest sat down to talk about her desire to share her faith more boldly at school. She just recounted conversations she has had with kids and how very lost they are. Her heart is breaking for those kids. My youngest went on to share (with great passion) about the mistreatment of a friend of hers and how she and her friends plan to step up to defend him. These girls are making pacts with friends to hold each other accountable for living their faith authentically and out loud before their peers, regardless of how they are treated! Wow. I'm humbled. Just when I was asking what we are missing, the answer flops down in the overstuffed chair next to me. I'm missing opportunities to live a life that screams God's mercy and grace to people around me!

I tiptoe through spiritual conversations. I claim it's because I don't want to offend anyone, but I know the truth is that I can speak of God's goodness without offending anyone. No, that excuse is a cop-out. I think I'm fearful that I'll be thought of as different, perhaps even excluded from friendships. And you know what? When I really think about it, I don't care at all. I'm okay with being different and I don't want to spend a moment apologizing for it. I certainly don't want my children to apologize for following Christ! So, is this where God's directing my focus this evening? Are we on this voyage because He is revealing a new path and direction for us? Is our checklist about to be radically revised?

Precious Savior, give us hearts receptive to your love and teachings and attentive to your leading. Wherever this takes us, Father, let us go boldly. Whether serving in our community or far away, help us to speak love and encouragement into the hearts of others. Amen.

March 27: Guarding Against Complacency and Toilet Water

And nearing the end of March, I'm feeling a little dry. The novelty of this has worn off and we've just accepted this new way of living as, well, just the way we live. I've come to realize that I'm not aware of the many ways God is providing each day. I mean, I'm SO grateful! Truly, truly thankful for our many blessings. Just afraid I'm becoming somewhat desensitized because, well life goes on and stuff is just stuff. I'm thrilled I'm finding perspective as a result of our commitment, but I don't ever want to become immune to God's provisions, even when they seem small.

Today I found myself in Target. I ran in to get allergy medicine and treats for our dog (needs) and a toilet plunger (no question, a need). Kyle and our youngest were waiting in the car so I strode very purposely through only the aisles I needed. When I rounded the corner to the toilet plungers, I grabbed the $4.99 version. Then a lovely $9.99 version caught my eye. Check this out: it had a splash guard (haven't ever really needed one, but what a great idea!) and a dish-like thing to set it in (so it doesn't drip nasty toilet water anywhere), and was made of a microbial material (to resist bacteria!). I mean... talk about important features on a toilet plunger! I struggled for a moment. Need. Want. Need. Want. Need. Want. The words volleyed. Then it hit me... I had a $5.00 gift card in my purse from a precious ELL student at one of my schools. I knew I wasn't going to "shop" with it (I'm done with that for a while!), so it seemed to be a perfect solution. I could get the deluxe version of the plunger and only pay for the base model.

I was excited about this. Yes, I said "excited." I know it's a toilet plunger. But it was also much more. I'm ending my day, reminded that God provides. Was this a divinely inspired event? I don't know. What I do know is that God used this experience to remind me on whom I must depend. Him. Only Him.

I'm actually looking forward to getting to plunge sometime. Every time I see my lovely new purchase, I'll be reminded of today. And though Kyle may think the features are all just a scam to get the consumer to pay more, I'm convinced that he'll appreciate the splash guard too. :)

March 12: Walking in Wal-Mart

In and out of Wal-Mart, still strong and still loyal to our mission. It was the first time this year I had even pulled into the parking lot of the superstore. I have to admit, I was little nervous. Now, I would not traditionally classify Wal-Mart as a downfall of mine. However, when I go in for an item or two, I inevitably find 76 more that I need. "Need." My, how the meaning of that word has changed this year.

Okay, so I walked in to pick up a good-bye gift for two of the ELL children at one of my schools. Their last day was this week before Spring Break and a small gift was on my "To Do" list. A couple of notable things happened to me when I walked into the store. I prayed as I was walking in that God would direct my efforts to just the right gift. (That may sound silly, but my whole notion of shopping has drastically changed in the last few months!) The other strange thinking I experienced was how utterly turned off I was by being in the store. Now, the kitchen aisle with spring-y linens and bright colors tempted me for a moment. And my head was turned briefly by some really cute, colorful markers. Other than that, I couldn't wait to get out of there!

I picked up a small, useful gift for each of the kids (a token, really), paid and left. I guess what is funny is that when I think about it, Wal-Mart is full of everyday items we need. However, the aisles are also saturated with shelves and shelves of wants. I just wasn't interested... or God gave me the desire to flee before I became captivated. I know myself well enough to know that can happen in a blink!

Let me add another small victory this week: We were able to write a check for a mission trip for 3 of us to attend and not even bat an eye. No worries about where the money was going to come from. I know it came from the items that have been left at the superstores. There's peace that comes with that. Real peace.