A little back story... Ever since our children were very young, we've been committed to teaching financial responsibility. It started with pennies. For every dime they earned, we'd convert it to 10 pennies, place one penny in a cup labeled "church," another in a cup labeled "save," and the remaining eight in a cup labeled "spend." Of course, they never accumulated much, but it was the consistency we were trying to teach. Maybe it's the teacher in me that craved to help our girls grasp the understanding and value of coins. Maybe it was our desire to instill in them the fiscal disciplines we lacked. Maybe it was just one of those things we stumbled upon back in the days when we didn't make a move without consulting at least three books on parenting, that stuck... and worked. Whatever it was, through the years the formula has stayed essentially the same. The amounts have changed dramatically, as have their responsibilities but the consistency has remained. Today they receive a paycheck once a month (just like I do). From that paycheck, they deposit 10% into a savings account, 10% gets cashed out for God's work, and the remaining 80% is theirs to save up and spend accordingly. They have certain responsibilities that they must perform in order to earn this paycheck, and there are also ways to increase their earnings by completing tasks well above and beyond their expected chores.
So, where does tonight's mess-up fit in? Well, with all of my talking about wants and needs and the value of earning and spending and the importance of being faithful stewards. With my lectures on giving generously and actively acknowledging God's ownership of all we have and graciously blessing others, my reaction to my daughter's offering tonight was nothing short of shameful.
When the offering basket came to my oldest daughter tonight, she very discreetly placed in a bill of a large denomination. It was an amount that incredibly skewed the aforementioned percentages. It was money that would have nicely helped her pay for some things she's been saving up for. And was my first reaction pride in her sweet, humbly offered gift? No. My first thought, and this is where it gets ugly, was "What in the world are you doing?! Now you're probably going to want to get money from me to make up for the money you just gave." (Wow! I knew when I began this that it was going to hurt, but to see it in print causes my stomach to ache.)
I gradually felt overwhelmingly ashamed. I shifted in my thinking and in my heart. What began in my mind as a rehearsal for a lecture on holding on to our money so that we have it when we need it, shifted to a plan to ask her what compelled her to give. God placed on my heart a reminder that she is living out what He is teaching her through us. And I was going to question it?! I mean, isn't it my greatest desire to have our daughters learn to rely completely on His faithful provision? To keep their hands open and face-up with their possessions, always ready to release them? And in an instant I desired that she grip that money "just in case." The passages I read today during my devotions came back to mind (Thank you, Lord!). Give me a moment to share the passage from Luke 12:22-34:
Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
I know where my daughter's heart was tonight. It wasn't on the cost of a really cute jacket from Old Navy. Nor was it on a new iPhone. It was simply on her Lord and Savior and what seemed simply to be the "right" thing to do. And that's exactly where I want my heart to be.
Precious Lord Jesus, keep teaching me. Keep humbling my heart. Keep my hands face-up and open, not just talking about it, but really doing it. Thank you for blessing me beyond measure and for providing for my every need. I love you desperately, Lord. Keep my heart sensitive to where You are working. Thank you for your grace. Help me live today seeking opportunities to be a blessing, to give generously, and to trust in your faithfulness to clothe, feed, and provide in every area of my life. Amen.
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